Vanilla Milk and Caramels

We've hit a rough patch. Again. Almost constant tantruming on Princess's part. Some tantruming on mine. It's probably due to the end of school wind-down; even Buddy is a mess. But Princess has upped the ante a bit and added in this fun game I like to call Do Absolutely Nothing Mommy Wants Me to Do and Pretend I Do Not Know She Wants Me to Do it. I tried to come up with something snappier, but the creative portions of my brain are a little overtaxed these days. The best part of this game is the disobedience is over very, very small things; so small that I am starting to appear crazy and controlling. This sensory-challenged (read- somewhat clumsy) child wore two-inch wedgie sandals to stack firewood, for instance. Or, she asks if I'm going to set the timer (yes) every. single. time I remind her to use the bathroom, and has a snit with some pretty teen-ager-y insults on my character when I won't answer or say something clever like, "hmm. You have to ask me because you just cannot remember. How frustrating that must be for you." It's getting really really old. And I'm having a harder time not being hurt or offended; she's always taken more out on me than on Josh, but lately it's become a Jeckyll/ Hyde thing. She will literally flip over to charming and chatty when Josh walks in. It's really disgusting. Blech. Bad taste in my mouth just thinking of it.

But.

She's been having a LOT of trouble getting along with the sibs lately, and this morning I had to pull her from the breakfast table and wait for everyone else to finish before she could go back. I put her face-down over my lap and explained that's what I did with Buddy and the Cuddle Bear when they were fussy as babies. I rubbed her back and reflected her complaints until she calmed. Then I picked her up and took her to the sofa.

I quit holding times a while back. Princess turned everything about it into a battle, refused eye contact, and it ALWAYS escalated her. It wasn't doing either of us any good. This time, she started off the usual way, but then the Cuddle Bear asked what I was doing. I said that I didn't get to hold Princess when she was a baby, so I was doing it now and I was really thankful Princess was letting me know she needed it. And Princess looked at my eyes. Well, eye. And she was only looking with one. But she was looking. Pretty soon she brought the other eye over too, and then I saw her pupils twitch back and forth the way they do when someone's trying to see inside you. Real eye contact.

So she clearly wants to bond. Break out the warm vanilla milk. Cheers!