"Mom, how does the Tooth Fairy fly through the air?"
"How do YOU think?"
"I think moms do it."
"But how can a Mom be a Tooth Fairy?"
"Good moms are lots of things, Princess."

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Humility, or Humiliation?

I do not know what I have done to instill this level of doubt of my mothering skills in my children. I do not know because, clearly, I am an excellent mother. Especially if you look comparatively. Cough. I have never left them anywhere accidentally. I do not have any criminal behaviors. They have bedtimes. They take vitamins. They see the doctor every year on their birthdays. Well. Within four months of their birthdays. We eat dinner as a family. They have chores. The only time I lost one, I only thought I lost one. It turned out I had left her with a babysitter earlier. So it's not the same. It's not!

Regardless of all this wonder, they have doubts. I found out last night, for instance, that Peanut does not believe I have the skills to pack a sack lunch.

"Mom! I need a sack lunch! I have a field trip tomorrow!"
"I know, honey. I'm just about to start packing it now."
"But it has to be in a paper bag, Mom (gesturing with hands, just in case I have never seen one before). So I can throw it away (again with the gesturing)."
"I've got it under control, Peanut. See? I'm getting the bag now."

Sadly, the bags were not in the first cabinet I went to. I moved them at Thanksgiving, after using them to make Turkey Luminaries (gol dang it Family Fun Magazine, would you FEATURE my blog, already???). I quickly found them, but the damage was already done in Peanut's sharp eyes.

"But Mom! I have to be able to THROW IT AWAY! You can't give me a THERMOS! Or a SPOON!"
"Peanut! I've got this! Packing a sack lunch IS part of my mothering repertoire, even though you've never seen it before!"

"Well. Can *I* write my name on it?"

So, sack lunch properly made, we move onto Field Day. Buddy:
"Mom. Do you have my class shirt?"
"Yes, because your Wonder Mommy did a separate load of laundry JUST so your's and Peanut's shirts would be clean. But Field Day is tomorrow."
"No, I think it's today."
"But I have it on the calendar for tomorrow, and your sisters' are tomorrow too."
"But you can put it in your backpack just in case."
"No! Mom! It IS today! Because I remember writing 'Field Day is tomorrow' while we were practicing cursive!
"Ok, honey; I've been wrong before. Wear your shirt."

Now, I thought I was being humble and stepping up and admitting parents can make mistakes too. But my children latched onto a different aspect:

"Yeah, like when you went to the wrong state for Princess's Daisy Girl Scout Build-a-Bear party."
Princess joined in: "Or when we went to the second kindergarten concert when Peanut was supposed to be in the first."
Buddy again: "Or like Tuesday when you tried to pick Princess up at the library instead of school where she actually was because you thought she was on a field trip when it's really next week. Mom? You seem to have a lot of trouble with Princess's Daisys, don't you?"

Guess who isn't getting a snack today?


  1. Darn those kids with their good memories! You must be a good mom because I might have said, "It's a good thing I don't list all the times you have made a mistake, children, otherwise we would be late for school!"

  2. that is pretty funny, mine do things like that all the time. On another note altogether for some reason your feed does not update in google reader and it is still stuck on the onion layers post in jan. and because of that I just think that you are not blogging and then you leave a comment and I realsie and I try to fix it and it won't fix! just cause I can rant about it I thought I would.

  3. Same thing happens with my Jacob. :/ Boo to humiliation.

  4. J - the same thing has happened with my Google reader and this blog too. I've tried several different times to fix it. If you figure it out, let me know. :)