"Mom, how does the Tooth Fairy fly through the air?"
"How do YOU think?"
"I think moms do it."
"But how can a Mom be a Tooth Fairy?"
"Good moms are lots of things, Princess."

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Fighting the Balance of Nature

Everything in nature strives for balance. And apparently the natural balance of my household is five people who use the toilet. Because, of course, just after writing a celebratory post about Princess is the time I discover that Peanut has not been wearing und.erwear.

Why? Because she doesn't have any left.

Friday is usually Kiddo Laundry Day, so in many alternate universes running out of un.derwear would be excusable. It would be excusable in this universe as well, except that in this universe, Peanut has FOURTEEN PAIRS OF UND.ERWEAR.

So, the only conclusion to draw is that she is bringing nature back into balance.

Oddly, I have handled four years of Princess's anti-toilet behavior (mostly) in a stride. But Peanut performing the semi-typical behavior of wetting her pants because she doesn't want to be bothered to stop what she's doing to participate in basic hygiene is making me lose. my..... whatever.

The Und.erwear that Wasn't losing of the whatever happened last night at bedtime. Which, incidentally did not a peaceful bedtime make. This morning when Peanut wanted to get dressed, she asked me for un.derwear. I stared at her. "Peanut, we talked about this last night. You haven't been using the toilet as much as you should so you are OUT OF UND.ERWEAR!!!!"

"But it's morning now."

(Long pause for more staring) "Peanut, how do you think your und.erwear gets clean again? Do you think it dances out of your hamper at night, twirling and pirouetting to Tchaikovsky as it goes, washes and dries itself, and skips back humming a jaunty tune? I DO NOT DO LAUNDRY WHILE I AM SLEEPING!"

Probably a little too sarcastic, I am thinking.

I'll be patiently (cough) sitting two on a potty timer for a while, I guess. Although not at the same time. You can thank me for placing the universe back in harmony.

No comments:

Post a Comment