Flashback 2009

I wrote this last year. Seems like a good time to pull it back out of the vault.



The Adoptive Mom on Mother's Day

I've noticed a lot of adoptive families do a "birth-mother's day" the week before Mother's Day. I thought about it, but decided to let the girls show me if that was something they needed. And yes, one of the did.

This morning I noticed more "crazy laugh" than usual coming from Princess. She did it again while we were waiting for the bus. I leaned down and put my arms around her and said, "I notice you're laughing a lot this morning when nothing is funny. Please tell me what's worrying you." She groaned and whined and told me to stop hugging her and I said, "that's ok. I'll just hug you until you feel like telling me, and if you don't, that's ok too, because then I'll get to hug you until the bus comes and I'll love that." She told me she was worried about Jorge eating grass. I told her I'd love to hear about what really was worrying her. She said, "I don't know." I did a double-take, because she always says "nothing." She never says "I don't know." Then I heard a grumbling growl. Then I heard it again. I asked her to look at me, because I couldn't understand what she was saying. She looked up at me and said, "I was thinking of Birthmom because I used to live with her."

Princess has never, ever, ever, told me what is bothering her before.

I said, "Mother's Day can be kind of hard for adoptive families, because there are two moms, and one of them the adoptive kids don't get to see. We can't send Birthmom a card because she kind of ran away and no one knows where she lives, but maybe we can write one anyway.

When she got home, she said, "Mom, can we....oh!" She ran to her backpack and got out the mother's day crafts she had made at school, proudly gave them to me, explained what she had done, smiled the whole time, gave me hugs. Then she asked to write Birthmom.

We got out the helium balloon I had picked up earlier and some streamers. She dictated while I wrote: "I love you Mommy Birthmom. I wish I still lived at your house. I liked going to restaurants with you. I miss you." I tied it on the balloon's string and we walked up to the top of the hill. We talked about how it probably wouldn't get to her house, but if it did wouldn't she be surprised. She asked me to hold it and let it go with her. We let it go while I held her and we watched.

I didn't feel threatened.