Why I Wouldn't Have the Nerve to Divorce My Husband, Even if I Wasn't Crazy in Love With Him

This is why:






Or, more specifically, this:







Josh and I speak two different versions of the same language. Something about this allows him to communicate with Princess fairly fluently, while I feel like I am speaking to a potato. Or like I'm listening as well as a potato. Half the time, she may have as well resurrected Latin, for all I can get out of it, but Josh, he'll say, "oh, she means blah blah blah blah blah, and he'll be right.

Josh is also very, very gifted at communicating with people for whom English is a second language. I think it's connected. I brought this phenomenon up with Dr. S, and she suggested that Josh is likely hyper-aware of non-verbals, while I focus heavily on what is actually said. This has it's advantages, but not with Princess and her language processing issues. Dr. S, in fact, even suggested I try to do most of my communication with Princess using a modified sign language. This is really, really challenging for me in a way I can't even explain, but I have managed to use more hand gestures, especially when I'm starting to feel frustrated. The one Dr. S gave me for "b***s***" has proved exceedingly useful.

So, back to the photos. Princess received a weaving loom for her birthday. I had put it on her wish list because she had gotten very good at the pot holder loom, and I thought she could handle a step up. But this one involves knot-tying. She can tie her shoes, so it didn't occur to me this would be difficult, but she had a very hard time tying a knot using ONE piece of yarn. I sat down with her for a half hour trying until my blood vessels almost burst to teach her to tie a knot. I'd walk her through each step, she'd follow my directions to the letter, and then stare at the next one blankly with no idea what to do. Thirty times. I kid you not. I finally (gently) told her that I didn't think I could teach her how to tie a knot, and suggested that maybe she'd learn by trying different things.

And she DID try. She tried hard. But she kept doing it the SAME wrong way. Each and every time. So I had an inspiration. I called in the backup.

I explained what was going on and specified that I wanted her to learn to do it (rather than simply follow the directions, without retaining the knowledge). And darn it all, he did it. In like, five minutes. He got her to understand how to tie a knot.

I don't know how to feel about this. I am so breathtakingly THANKFUL that not only is the man I promised to spend the rest of my life with hot, but he can do the things I can't. But I also want to kick things. Hard. Because it's not fair, of course.

So, you see, I could never leave him.

Not that I'd want to. He's hot.