I think (*think*) Princess is actively wanting to attach. I say this with baited breath, because you know what happens where you voice it (ka-BOOM!). I've been noticing bits and pieces here and there: yelling rude things, but following me around to do it. Using behavior to get my one-on-one attention. Most of it isn't pretty, but my mama nose sensed a change.
Just LOOK at what she let me do:
No, no, no. You don't really get it. Here's the thing: this child HATES to have her hair handled by anyone other than herself. Some of our bloodiest battles have been over hair-combing. I breathed a sigh of relief when she was old enough to be taught how to care for it, even though I knew full well it would be emotionally healthier for her if I did it.
At the very beginning, it totally depressed me. I'd pick her up from a visit with these tight, shiny pigtails and think, oh great, she only wants her bio-mom to do her hair. She hates me. The reality, I found out later, was that Princess didn't want her bio-mom to do her hair any more than she wanted me to. In fact, it became one of the lynchpins of bonding problems between Princess and her bio-mom. According to the reports I received, visits were pretty much a screaming blood-bath of conditioner and hair ties.
So I gave it up.
Today she seemed pretty compliant. She took a shower; I had to wash her hair myself- doctor's orders. She had a deer tick in there that had swelled up to the size of a cob of corn before it was discovered. Shudder. Anyway. She appeared pretty relaxed after, and I asked if I could play with her hair, did she want some beads? Not only did she say yes, she was excited about it. Hmm.
So I braided a few sections of hair with the speed, agility, and tenderness of a trained rabid ferret-handler. I didn't put in any bands; I was careful not to pull. Even so, I could tell she was barely starting to get agitated by the end, especially when I touched hair by her temples.
But we survived. I'm going to be all over this bonding opening she's throwing out there. She'll never know what hit her.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment