Princess's regressions are a lot like she's dug a hole in the orchard out back and climbed in. It looks like she sits there an does nothing while I beg her to come back out. I'm not sure what she's doing in there, but it's not that. Not exactly.
This is a child who does not care much about stuff. She care about getting stuff; she cares about having stuff (especially if it's just like someone else's); but the stuff itself? Meh.
This is the child who has torn apart carefully Mommy-chosen gifts in front of my very eyes. This is the child who said, "that's ok. I didn't really like it anyway" when her sister broke the wheel off her brand-new remote-control Cinderella carriage. This is the child who, on a bad day at school, sawed her wrist back and forth on the back of a chair until her adoption bracelet broke and flew all over the classroom. This is the child who presented me with a Skittle she had stepped on.
Yesterday I gave them their Valentines Day gifts (because I really thought it WAS Valentines Day. Who can keep track of silly date facts like that, anyway? If you can, then isn't there a floor you should be cleaning somewhere?). There were things from the dollar section at Target; nothing I expected to last long. Princess had a set of plastic bracelets with plastic heart charms hanging off them. And, believe you me, I noticed that she was not wearing them. Not that I said anything.
Turns out, I was wrong about the "why." According to Josh, she showed him where a plastic heart charm was in precarious danger of falling off and said, "I think I'll keep this in my bag. If I break it, it might hurt Mom's feelings."
Insert dropped jaw here.
I don't know how she can heal in that dark, cold pit, but she does. She is. She'll be back out soon, I think.
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She is learning empathy! My niece is 15 and acts the same way. Completely materialistic but doesn't truly care for anyone or anything. It's hard to teach even when it is modeled all around them. Enjoy it today, cause who knows what kind of garbage tomorrow brings!
ReplyDeleteActually, they do care. But it is so much safer to hide behind those walls than to risk letting anyone close enough to hurt them again. The flippant "I didn't really like it anyway" and the stepped on skittle are just ways of keeping you at a distance so she doesn't have to feel & you can't hurt her. She'll heal with your consistency and patience.
ReplyDeleteHow cool! Good job!
ReplyDeleteBTW, the reader has finally pulled your blog in- woo hoo!