When my sweet Princess was just three, only a few months before she came into our care, she watched an armed throw-down between the Cuddle Bear's birth father and the police (who, incidentally, had been called by the girls' birth mother for domestic violence) that resulted in the bf handcuffed and taken to jail. That's what we know. Who knows what we don't know.
Saturday night we were retuning from a friend's house, and blue and red lights showed up behind us. Neither of us had any idea why Josh was being pulled over, and Josh said the fatal words, "did you put that registration in the car?"
So I search frantically for the registration that I had not put in the car while the officer tells Josh that he did not come to a complete stop at a stop sign (I know. I know. But that's beside the point). The officer goes to his car with Josh's license, and Josh and I decide to up the tension in the car by fighting about whose fault it technically is that the registration is not in the car. Josh swears he put it in my purse, and I swear he took it out and didn't put it back, but we won't discuss the finer points of that anymore, mostly because it's probably my fault. Somewhere during the arguing, I realize Princess sounds exactly like a frightened two-year-old. Instantly realizing what's going on in her head, I turn around as the officer is returning to the car. Because no one likes to have crazy conversations with their children in front of police, I condensed and quietly said,
"Princess. This is not Birth Mother's Police. Daddy is not going to jail."
Thankfully it was enough to stop the strange-sounding fussing. Thankfully the officer had only a short annoyed-sounding conversation with Josh before giving him the ticket and leaving.
The rest of the way home we discussed the many-varied aspects of police officers jobs, and the subtle nuances *cough* in the differences between why police come to Mommy and Daddy versus why police came to Birth Mother. Since this discussion has happened many, many, many, many, many times before, something about it worked. There hasn't been any fall-out. In fact, this week she has been much more regulated. And I am thankful.
It stinks when your child can't handle life, and life happens anyway.
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Wow Kerrie, I so admire you and Josh. What a great lesson, too, for all parents to see that consistency pays off and our children will "get it" eventually. So glad things worked out well with that experience.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid I was absolutely terrified of the police. I used to FREAK if I even saw them behind us and I had a perfectly normal childhood with not one policeman who had ever come to our door. It must explain why now, at 35, whenever I get pulled over my heart starts palpitating and I start wondering if I'm going to do something so incredibly stupid that they cuff me and haul me off to jail LOL
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