"Mom, how does the Tooth Fairy fly through the air?"
"How do YOU think?"
"I think moms do it."
"But how can a Mom be a Tooth Fairy?"
"Good moms are lots of things, Princess."

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Leathery, Furry, Twittery Beast from the Depth of You-Know-Where

I have an irrational fear of birds. I don't mind having them around if they are outside and far away and not big. Or if they are in a cage in another room. But that's all I can tolerate. I don't know what started it. As far as I know, I have never had a traumatic bird experience. The first I knew of it was a day a bird flew into a friend's open window, and I suddenly dove under their counter screaming, "AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!" without really knowing why. Naturally, this fear extends to bats.

This morning I was innocently making coffee and pouring cereal when I heard the yelling. I couldn't make out what Buddy was saying, but he definately would not yell that early in the morning if it wasn't important. I ran upstairs. Buddy said, "Mom! There's something flying in here!" "Where?" "Right there! See it?"

I think the reason I didn't see it is that I was expecting it to by bug sized. And I am not proud of this next part:

I ran screaming downstairs, by myself, and locked myself in the laundry room.

I heard Josh yell, "bring me some tools!" All I could think was, "we don't have any tennis rackets! No tennis rackets!" so I grabbed the first think I could think of in my addled mind: a tupperware container. I ran back upstairs. Josh not-so-calmly asked what was wrong with me, told me to suck it up, and requested a broom. I hid curled up in a trauma ball around the corner while Josh pinned it down with a broom. Then I heard it. The same evil twittery noise that woke me up this morning.

While in my own bed.

I don't see how I can possible sleep again. Ever.

I apologized to Buddy. I said, "Buddy, I'm really sorry for running away screaming and leaving you alone with the bat. I should have at least grabbed you and taken you with me. I'm really embarrassed." He graciously replied, "that's ok, Mom. I know you're afraid of things that fly. Even though I don't know why. It was just a little bat."

Thanks for having my back, son.


  1. Way to go Buddy!

    I don't mind bats outside. Away from me....bats in the house would probably freak me out too. :D

  2. It just goes to show where your real prioities are!

  3. I find it amusing that the ad on the right side of this article is currently one for bird cages.

  4. hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love your honesty and humor! (And ALL moms have moments like this: "Save yourself!")

    Thanks for sharing!