Attention Mongering

After Princess finished breakfast I (subtly) cornered her and said, "so last night you were so mad that Miss K wouldn't let you have a hard time swimming with no bubble that you ruined your whole evening and went to bed early. Tell me about that decision. What were you thinking?"

False Start #1
False Start #2
False Start #3
False Start #4

On the fifth try, she came out with that the thing she got that she wanted was attention. "So, you don't think I give you enough attention (!), and you would rather have no fun attention than no attention at all."

"Yes."

"Ok then. What can we do together so you get enough attention?"
"I want you to draw with me."
"Not a problem. We'll draw together at 10:00. Will that be enough?"
"No. I want you to read with me, where you read a page and then I read it."
"Ok. Is that enough? Or do you need more?"
"No. That's enough."

Ummmm. Hmm.

You want to know how it worked out, don't you. Ok. I gave her the attention she told me she needed, and the day was glorious. We romped hand-in-hand through a field of daisies, and after we fell from joyous exhaustion we made each other crowns and stared at the wispy clouds while Princess told me of her hopes and dreams for the future.

Ok. You can stop laughing now.

Princess wanted us to draw pictures of us eating Skittles. She had gotten as far as her head and hair when she told me she couldn't find a cap to one of Peanut's Special Birthday Markers. "Well, go tell her then," I said. She left, and I heard her say, "Peanut! Did you have a cap for your marker?"

"Princess! Come here please!"
"What?"
"You told me you took the cap off the marker (she had, by the way). So you already knew she had a cap. Your job is to tell her you lost it."

Princess left. Cue Princess yelling, "Peanut! I lost your cap!" repeatedly. "Mom! She's not listening!"

"Well, what was your job?"
"But she's not listening!"
"What was you job?"
"SHE'S NOT LISTENING!"
"So. What. Was. Your. Job?"
"I don't know. Will you tell me again?"

For anyone who may not recognize it: that last line there? Pure RAD. Not only that, pure I'm About to Start a Rage RAD.

I had her get the regulation piece of paper so that she could write her directions out in order to be able to "remember" them the "next time (she) forgets." This involved waaaay more crumpled sheets of paper than one would have thought possible. Then she told Peanut she lost the cap.

And maybe you though it ended there.
But you'd be wrong.

Peanut walked in and complemented me on my picture, and Princess felt offended that the two marker strokes she had added did not gain the same admiration. She asked that I stop coloring so that she could "catch up" because apparently I was going to "finish first." I reminder her that drawing was not a race, so there was no "catching up" to be done.

Enter the RADy Eye Color Discussion.

"Wmmimble ungumble shmumble grumble."
"Hmmm?"
"Wmmimble ungumble shmumble grumble."
"You know, I bet our little talks would be so interesting if you would move your lips."
"Do you KNOW what color my EYES are!"
"Why yes, honey. Of course I do."
"NO! Can you see my EYES!"
"Absolutely."
"NO! Can you see them NOW! Show me!"
(Mom looks at Princess's eyes)
(Repeat conversation with increasing amounts of angst)
"WHAT! COLOR! ARE! MY! EYYYYYYYYYYES!!!!"
"They're orange."



"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Things did not get better from there.

Later, I asked her what she was thinking when she wrecked her Mom time. She said, "I wanted to finish first."

Or, possibly, it might have been that Buddy was invited to ride Neighbor's tandem bike with Neighbor, and no one else's legs were long enough. Just a thought.