"Mom, how does the Tooth Fairy fly through the air?"
"How do YOU think?"
"I think moms do it."
"But how can a Mom be a Tooth Fairy?"
"Good moms are lots of things, Princess."

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Tooth Fairy Strikes Again

In the name of All that is Good and Lovely, could we moms all get together and form some type of tooth fairy manifesto? This every mom for herself thing is just not working for me. At THIS house, the tooth fairy coughs up one dollar per tooth except for the first one (two dollars), and except when she has to pay a fine for forgetting, er, getting trapped in some fog. I consider this highly reasonable, especially when you consider how many teeth those monsters have in their heads, and that I have four sets of teeth awaiting loss.

That brings up, well, we'll call him Dylan. Mostly because I can't remember his real name. Dylan is in Princess's class, and Dylan's mother is apparently some kind of social deviant. According to first-grade lore, Dylan is paid a dollar for each SUBSEQUENT tooth, meaning that he hauled in SIX DOLLARS for his last tooth. Ordinarily, this is information that Princess would allow to pass through her brain in favor of other things. However. Princess needs exactly six dollars to go get the soccer ball she's been saving for (why a soccer ball in January, you ask? What. You think I KNOW???).

So. After much cranking on the loosest tooth in her mouth, she managed to yank it out, along with substantial root, Monday evening. Enter: Constant Jabbering About I Hope the Tooth Fairy Brings Me Six Dollars. This event continued until the last good-night, and picked up again immediately Tuesday morning. Because, unfortunately, the tooth fairy got trapped in the freezing fog that night and was running late. Cough. After I assured her that the tooth fairy would have no problem getting here -eventually- she renewed and inflamed her hope that the tooth fairy would bring her six dollars. At five minutes til bus, my patience finally wore out and I snapped, "our tooth fairy brings one dollar. Always. She never brings six dollars. Never. She will not bring six dollars. Got it?" I thought she did. There was no more mention of six dollars, anyway.

Until. I got an e-mail from Mrs. M. letting me know they had written a letter to the tooth fairy in her language session. She mentioned Princess was very, er, focused on the possibility of receiving -what?- six dollars. When she was done with the letter, she remarked, "this is so good she'll probably leave me TEN dollars!!!"

Something. Must be done.

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