"No! You made Mom crabby!"
"No, it was YOU!"
"No, YOU!"
Which I found entirely fascinating, because I was feeling the least crabby I have felt all week. Because all I was doing was being entirely fascinated.
Christine saved my life this week by giving me the most condensed version ever of the conference she attended. She does that. It took me about three days to process what she said, so I wrote it on my hand:
Here are the things that actually do make me crabby:
1. fighting
2. tattleing
3. taking your booster seat out from under you in the car and hitting your sister over the head with it repeatedly.
Actually, there are really only two, because fighting and tattling never happen separately. And there was a lot of it this morning.
MooOOOOOooooom, Peanut is using my marker and she's not being respechful with it and she keeps slamming it into the table and writing on the table!
Wow! You sound really frustrated that Peanut is using your marker. I wonder who told you that you had to let Peanut use your markers.
No one.
Oh! No one told you that you had to let Peanut use your markers, and you're letting her use your markers, but it makes you feel really frustrated.
Confused look. Suddenly empty room.
MOOOoooooOOOOoooom, I put Peanuts bike away and Peanut threw my bike RIGHT ON THE GROUND!
Wow. That sounds like it would be really frustrating! I wonder what on earth would make Peanut so angry she'd throw someone else's bike?
Confused look. Suddenly empty room.
Why do you think the kids are so upset that you're singing?
I don't know.
Hmm. Let's pretend you did know. What would you say?
(Really long silence. Per Christine, I put the look on her face onto mine, and tilt my head to the side. Princess becomes increasingly annoyed)
You don't want to talk. That's cool. Let's not talk.
CAUSE THEY ASKED ME TO STOP SINGING BUT I WANT TO AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!!
Oh. They want you to not sing, but you want to sing and you want them to like it.
ARRGH! (stomp stomp stomp stomp SLAM)
Suddenly empty room.
How on earth can you be crabby when you're in a suddenly quiet and empty room?
You can't. You can knit.
This is fantastic! I need to get me some condensed seminar too! My son also tends to think I am angry when I am not. When I really am angry- he doesn't notice or doesn't care. Must go practice being curious...
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome!!! Love the notes on your hand. I zoomed in on the picture so I could read it. And copy it. ;)
ReplyDeleteLol, that's cute. I love the suddenly empty rooms!
ReplyDeleteHi! My name is Jaimie. I do not have kids (bio or adopted) yet, I'm too young, but I plan to in the future. I was wondering if you thought these sort of tactics would work with kids that do not have attachment problems. I am a special ed teacher currently doing respite care for kids with special needs. I am wondering about using this tactic with the 5 year old I work with, who has ADHD (and some developmental delays). On and off we have major behavior problems that include what look like rages (they are probably somewhat different, but they look a lot like them to me!!). I am always on the lookout for new tactics. My email is jgoeble at gmail dot com if you would rather answer me there :)
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
ROFL - can you teach me how to do this??? I love the reflective talk but have NEVER heard it used this way! *big smile*
ReplyDelete