"Mom, how does the Tooth Fairy fly through the air?"
"How do YOU think?"
"I think moms do it."
"But how can a Mom be a Tooth Fairy?"
"Good moms are lots of things, Princess."

Monday, January 10, 2011

Playing With Fire. Or Bookshelves

I did a dangerous thing today.

I moved a piece of furniture into Princess's room.

It was the bookshelf that fits behind her bed. When I started desiring a house with another bedroom, it was because I suspected Princess would do better (and my life would be easier) with a stripped-down room. So for the past four months, her room has contained a bed, a stuffed animal, a doll, some (but not all of her) clothing, and carpet. It isn't un-pretty, but it's, well....let's say minimalistic.

And it has worked.

And now she hasn't thrown, kicked, hit, beat, clawed, bit, pinched, kicked, or even screamed in three weeks. But it was when she told her sisters, "I can't have toys in my room, so can we play in yours?" instead of tricking her sisters into playing in her room and then pretending she forgot that it occurred to me that maybe it is time. Maybe she is ready.

When she saw us lugging it from the basement to the second floor, she asked a bunch of questions about where it was going and who it was for (because, of course, she knows it's hers) to which we said, well, let's see.

I wanted to congratulate her for her appropriate behaviors and verbally equate them with the reinstatement of the bookshelf. And just as much, I wanted to remind her that furniture is a privilege and a responsibility and that one slam against the wall and swoosh! I will rip that thing back to the basement so fast her eyes will spin, but I said nothing. Nothing at all. I moved it in. I left the room.

Because saying anything would make it into too big of a deal, and big deals are hard for Princess to accept.

Oh, I did say one thing. Princess watched me put her bedding back together while she exclaimed over the shelf and she said, "so I get to have toys in my room now?" So I said,

"You get to have this in your room now."

Sloooooooowly. Very very slowly. I won't add anything else to her room for at least two weeks, just to make sure this isn't too much too soon as it is. And when I do add something, it'll be a clock. Mostly because it creeps me out that she's in and out of our room in the wee hours checking the time without me waking up. But it'll be a cute clock. But seriously, toys? Maybe a year from now.


  1. FWIW I think you are right to take it slow. Around here moving furniture in the bedroom is a CHANGE and how do we feel about change? Even if it is a positive change and something we want? Change = wango tango.
    But definitely a clock. Even if darling obsesses about the numbers matching all the clocks in the house (maybe that's just us) it's better than late night/early morning visits!

  2. At Christmas I allowed V to have a stuffed animal back into her room for the first time in.. oh, forever. Within days, she had regressed to the point that she could not comply with A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. and had a massive violent rage (the first in months). Apparently, not ready yet.

  3. There have already been signs this morning that it might be too much. Poo. Well, it was worth a try.