Oh someone please, please help me. Preferably, someone would find a way to get me out of the state by Saturday.
Princess has enough money for a cupcake mix.
This commercial is a LIE!!! Those smiles? Maybe. But obviously the "mom" in that commercial is not an actual mom, because if she were, there would be no smiling. She would be hiding in the corner on the floor on the other side of the counter between the stools twitching while the dad tries to talk her out by holding a martini just out of her reach.
And, all the girls eyes widen when they take a bite and they say, "mmmmmmm!!!" as if eating that cupcake is the most amazing and delightful experience they've every had. If it was realistic, the commercial would show the girl's brother walking in and saying, "what smells like pe.e?"
Because that's the way it happens here.
Princess has enough money for a cupcake mix.
And the WORST part is, she shouldn't.
Last week Princess overheard Peanut asking me to pick up a "BOX OF 96 CRAYONS BECAUSE THEY COST SIX DOLLARS AND SHE HAS SIX DOLLARS AND NOW SHE'LL BE NUMBER FOUR TO HAVE A BOX OF 96 CRAYONS BECAUSE JOE HAS ONE AND KALA HAS ONE AND BOB HAS ONE AND NOW SHE'LL HAVE ONE YOU GET THEM AT THE STORE TO THE RIGHT OF PENNEY'S AND THEY COST SIX DOLLARS AND SHE HAS SIX DOLLARS AND NOW SHE'LL BE NUMBER FOUR SO PLEASE MOM WILL YOU IT'S AT THE STORE TO THE RIGHT OF PENNEY'S AND I HAVE SIX DOLLARS," and Princess asked me to get her a cupcake mix because they cost five dollars.
Princess, are you sure? I think they cost more than that.
No. They're five dollars.
So, of course they were six dollars.
At our house, you get allowance because you're part of the family and you do what you're asked without arguing because you're part of the family. However, one particular family member has a hard time with the "doing what you're asked without arguing" part, and that family member did not get her allowance last week because she was unable to put away Peanut's laundry as retribution for pounding her in the car. Unfortunately, said family member cannot be convinced that she is NOT PAID to put her laundry away, and did not understand why she did not get her allowance, as she left her laundry on her bed and used it until there were two shirts left, and then put away the two shirts, which resulted in more money-docking arguing and consequence-ensuing insults.
And then she &*%&$ found a %(*&&#& dollar at swim lessons.
And now she has enough.
So Saturday, after six (so far) days of not being able to say ANYTHING to Princess without having something rude and hurtful spat back at me, I have to suck it up and use a toy I hate more than anything every created. Besides speculums. And eat something that smells like pee.
Get me out of here NOW!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
LMAO, love the post title!
ReplyDeleteRub some tequila on your upper lip while she cooks and eats the thing. Blegh.
Mmmm...feeling hungry now...lol.
ReplyDelete"twitching while the dad tries to talk her out by holding a martini just out of her reach."
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!!!
Can you rebel and mix up a Betty Crocker? Stick that in the microwave! Anything would be better than eating a pe.e cupcake. (Or would that complicate things since a cake mix is only 79 cents, and frosting $1.25?)
ReplyDeleteHere's an idea: Play Lets Make a Deal! Tell her, "Princess, you can either have the cupcake mix for your $6, OR, you can use it to buy the items behind door #1, door #2, or door #3!" OK, maybe not. The "ZoNk" prize might not go over too well.
One thing I have learned from arguing with my children (one child, in particular, out of nine). You can't win. They want reasons. I used to believe that when I was giving reasons, I was communicating with my child in a way that my parents didn't with me. (I got whacked, usually by surprise.) So, every time you give a reason for the said consequence, arguers are wired to use the incoming reason as a foreign object, as an enemy missile and attack it! What you don't know is that they have already gone over every possible scenario, and they will argue with you point by point until you blow up or resign, curled up, twitching in the corner. Its a premeditated battle that YOU CAN'T WIN. What does work? Well, it's just a little less exhausting than the argument itself. Give the one reason. Period. Stay strong. It might be, "because I'm the mom". Can't argue with that. The problem, however, is that you might think over time the child learns that arguing with YOU doesn't work. I have found this not to be the case. My 6'3", 230 lb, 16 year old man/child still tries his best. I have to always be on my toes or I get sucked into the abyss.
I have several pairs of those big girl panties. Hate them!
Bridges- your uncle told me almost the exact same thing. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteThe problems with Betty Crocker is she makes 84,000 microwave cupcakes, which have to be microwaved and then baked individually. My current plan is to have to "go to the bathroom" immediately after taking a bite and flushing the offending pe.e cupcake down.
OMG I am so sorry that you have girls and I am so happy that I have boys and that I am celiac, perhaps you could be too for a few days. That or you could replace the water in your cupcake with tequila or baileys and then it might taste a little better
ReplyDelete